Photoshop is a excellent image editing software. It's a boon to artists. It gives wings to creative artists. My blogger friend Santoshi has used the 'Glowing edges' filter in photoshop to great effects. You can see her photoshop works here http://black2dart.blogspot.com
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Simple Photoshop Art Work
Photoshop is a excellent image editing software. It's a boon to artists. It gives wings to creative artists. My blogger friend Santoshi has used the 'Glowing edges' filter in photoshop to great effects. You can see her photoshop works here http://black2dart.blogspot.com
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I knew you would come
There were two childhood buddies who went through school and college and even joined the army together. War broke out and they were fighting in the same unit. One night they were ambushed.
Bullets were flying all over and out of the darkness came a voice, "Harry, please come and help me."
Harry immediately recognized the voice of his childhood buddy, Bill. He asked the captain if he could go.
The captain said, "No, I can't let you go, I am already short-handed and I cannot afford to lose one more person. Besides, the way Bill sounds he is not going to make it." Harry kept quiet.
Again the voice came, "Harry, please come and help me." Harry sat quietly because the captain had refused earlier.
Again and again the voice came.
Harry couldn't contain himself any longer and told the captain, "Captain, this is my childhood buddy. I have to go and help."
The captain reluctantly let him go. Harry crawled through the darkness and dragged Bill back into the trench. They found that Bill was dead.
Now the captain got angry and shouted at Harry, "Didn't I tell you he was not going to make it? He is dead, you could have been killed and I could have lost a hand. That was a mistake."
Harry replied, "Captain, I did the right thing. When I reached Bill he was still alive and his last words were 'Harry, I knew you would come."'
Bullets were flying all over and out of the darkness came a voice, "Harry, please come and help me."
Harry immediately recognized the voice of his childhood buddy, Bill. He asked the captain if he could go.
The captain said, "No, I can't let you go, I am already short-handed and I cannot afford to lose one more person. Besides, the way Bill sounds he is not going to make it." Harry kept quiet.
Again the voice came, "Harry, please come and help me." Harry sat quietly because the captain had refused earlier.
Again and again the voice came.
Harry couldn't contain himself any longer and told the captain, "Captain, this is my childhood buddy. I have to go and help."
The captain reluctantly let him go. Harry crawled through the darkness and dragged Bill back into the trench. They found that Bill was dead.
Now the captain got angry and shouted at Harry, "Didn't I tell you he was not going to make it? He is dead, you could have been killed and I could have lost a hand. That was a mistake."
Harry replied, "Captain, I did the right thing. When I reached Bill he was still alive and his last words were 'Harry, I knew you would come."'
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
What is Love?
What is Love?
In a classroom there were several kids, when one of them asked the teacher:
- Teacher, what is LOVE ?
The teacher felt the kid deserved the best answer she could give to that intelligent question. Since it was almost time for a break, she asked every student to go around the school and come back with something that would bring the feeling of love.
The kids rushed out the classroom, and when they came back the teacher said:
- So, I want everybody to show what you brought to the whole class.
The first kid said:
- I brought this FLOWER, isn’t it beautiful ?
The second kid said:
- I brought this BUTTERFLY. Look at these colorful wings, I am gonna put it in my collection !
The third kid said:
- I brought this YOUNG BIRD. It had fallen with another one from the nest. Isn’t it cute ?
And the kids were showing what they brought.
After almost everybody had showed their discoveries, the teacher noticed that there was a kid who had been quiet all the time. She was ashamed because she had not brought anything.The teacher went to her and asked:
- My dear, why haven’t you brought anything ?
She then answered in an innocent voice:
- I am sorry teacher. I saw the FLOWER, and felt its perfume. I was going to take it, but I preffered to leave it so its perfume would last longer and others could feel it. I also saw the BUTTERFLY, soft, colorful..she seemed so happy that I did not want to disturb it. I also saw the YOUNG BIRD that had fallen between the leafs, but as I climbed the tree, I noticed the said look of it’s mother, so I decided to return it to the nest. Therefore, I only bring with me: the perfume of the flower, the feeling of liberty of the butterfly and the gratefulness of the look of the little bird’s mother. How can I show you what I brought?
The teacher thanked the young kid and gave her an A, because she was the only one that realized that we can only bring LOVE in our hearts __._,_.___
In a classroom there were several kids, when one of them asked the teacher:
- Teacher, what is LOVE ?
The teacher felt the kid deserved the best answer she could give to that intelligent question. Since it was almost time for a break, she asked every student to go around the school and come back with something that would bring the feeling of love.
The kids rushed out the classroom, and when they came back the teacher said:
- So, I want everybody to show what you brought to the whole class.
The first kid said:
- I brought this FLOWER, isn’t it beautiful ?
The second kid said:
- I brought this BUTTERFLY. Look at these colorful wings, I am gonna put it in my collection !
The third kid said:
- I brought this YOUNG BIRD. It had fallen with another one from the nest. Isn’t it cute ?
And the kids were showing what they brought.
After almost everybody had showed their discoveries, the teacher noticed that there was a kid who had been quiet all the time. She was ashamed because she had not brought anything.The teacher went to her and asked:
- My dear, why haven’t you brought anything ?
She then answered in an innocent voice:
- I am sorry teacher. I saw the FLOWER, and felt its perfume. I was going to take it, but I preffered to leave it so its perfume would last longer and others could feel it. I also saw the BUTTERFLY, soft, colorful..she seemed so happy that I did not want to disturb it. I also saw the YOUNG BIRD that had fallen between the leafs, but as I climbed the tree, I noticed the said look of it’s mother, so I decided to return it to the nest. Therefore, I only bring with me: the perfume of the flower, the feeling of liberty of the butterfly and the gratefulness of the look of the little bird’s mother. How can I show you what I brought?
The teacher thanked the young kid and gave her an A, because she was the only one that realized that we can only bring LOVE in our hearts __._,_.___
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Living in 2008
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't#9 on this list
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to.
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't#9 on this list
AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Zodiac signs & the way they kiss
Aries: Your kisses are quick and passionate fits of lustful pleasure that are there and then gone.
Taurus: Your kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt and they can go on and on and on.
Gemini: Your kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, smiles and funny observations.
Cancer: Your kisses are warm and tender, and you never want to let them go.
Leo: Your kisses are wild and uninhibited, biting and clawing, you expect applause for your performance.
Virgo: Your kisses are so subtle and tidy, your lover only notices them once you've finished.
Libra: You're too busy worrying about your breath to really get into your kisses.
Scorpio: You skip the kiss and get straight to whatever comes next for you.
Sagittarius: Your kisses are surprising, spontaneous affairs that leave the kissed wanting more.
Capricorn: Your kisses are intense moments of sublime relief from the stress of your day.
Aquarius: Your kisses are wet and messy, and you tend to keep your eyes open.
Pisces: Your kisses are starry-eyed, amorous and long-lasting.
******
Taurus: Your kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt and they can go on and on and on.
Gemini: Your kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, smiles and funny observations.
Cancer: Your kisses are warm and tender, and you never want to let them go.
Leo: Your kisses are wild and uninhibited, biting and clawing, you expect applause for your performance.
Virgo: Your kisses are so subtle and tidy, your lover only notices them once you've finished.
Libra: You're too busy worrying about your breath to really get into your kisses.
Scorpio: You skip the kiss and get straight to whatever comes next for you.
Sagittarius: Your kisses are surprising, spontaneous affairs that leave the kissed wanting more.
Capricorn: Your kisses are intense moments of sublime relief from the stress of your day.
Aquarius: Your kisses are wet and messy, and you tend to keep your eyes open.
Pisces: Your kisses are starry-eyed, amorous and long-lasting.
******
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Stupid Question / Answer
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is ! The "Paneer butter Masala" dish good??
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not.You thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is ! The "Paneer butter Masala" dish good??
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not.You thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..
Methods of Hiring
Cognizant Method:
Hire a lion... Ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.Give him Gobi 65 to eat again and again.Hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sitGive them same Gobi 65 to eatHire 200 more....... And more .......
TCS method:
Hire a lionGive him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary lion dies of hunger and frustration
IBM's metbod:
Hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour... He dies of unemployment. ..
Syntel Method:
Hire a Cat ...Assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite.Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
MBT method:
Hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.Lion dies of the strain?
I-Flex method:
Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion) holy cow dies in fear of the real lion.
Polaris Method:
Hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..Change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM)Cut down his allowance (coupons etc)Lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Patni method:
Hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...The lion dies before joining....
Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,Give him a mail Id.He will die receiving stupid mails all day........! ! !!!
Accenture Method:
*Hire a lion.... **Send him to chennaiAsk him to stay on bench for a long timeAsk him to eat idli,Dosa and VadaNo Hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girlsAnd say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......
Hire a lion... Ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.Give him Gobi 65 to eat again and again.Hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sitGive them same Gobi 65 to eatHire 200 more....... And more .......
TCS method:
Hire a lionGive him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary lion dies of hunger and frustration
IBM's metbod:
Hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour... He dies of unemployment. ..
Syntel Method:
Hire a Cat ...Assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite.Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
MBT method:
Hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.Lion dies of the strain?
I-Flex method:
Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion) holy cow dies in fear of the real lion.
Polaris Method:
Hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..Change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM)Cut down his allowance (coupons etc)Lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Patni method:
Hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...The lion dies before joining....
Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,Give him a mail Id.He will die receiving stupid mails all day........! ! !!!
Accenture Method:
*Hire a lion.... **Send him to chennaiAsk him to stay on bench for a long timeAsk him to eat idli,Dosa and VadaNo Hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girlsAnd say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......
Monday, November 10, 2008
FWD - Woody Allen at his best
*Next Life** **by Woody Allen*
"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and getthat out of the way.Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day.You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities; you become a baby untilyou are born.And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
I rest my case."
"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and getthat out of the way.Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day.You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities; you become a baby untilyou are born.And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
I rest my case."
Sunday, November 9, 2008
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